The Orientals and their ancient sexual education

It is funny. Human behavior analysts always use some unconvincing argument to explain why the human being, when limited on one side, falls on the other.

"It is your unconscious looking for an escape from something that limits you and that you have not yet accepted".

I never got along with my analysts. However, there is some reason in what they say, after all they study for years precisely to show us a way, a different view of our cognitive obscurity. I, I confess, also have a predilection to observe human behavior. It's amazing what you discover. Good, but let's get to the facts. I already knew that the Japanese - the Japanese in particular - are very naughty. But the Chinese surprised me with the story that they pay a penny for erotic toys of all types, brands, sizes and colors. Brazilians take care. 

I read a news story about the Shanghai International Adult Toy Fair, something like the Erótica Fair, held in New York I found out that the adult sex and leisure market in China is an increasingly profitable and booming business, collecting around 38 billion yuan ($ 5 billion). All of this financial movement, experts say, has helped to break some taboos of the frowning Chinese society. It is the power of money. 

The idea that we do here in New York is that China only produces that pile of junk of R $ 1.99, toys that break before Christmas is over and a pile of silk that tears in the first wash. Nananinananão. They like sex. And a lot of sex. And I hear about it on the eve of my vacation. Jeez temptation !!!! Like the Japanese, the Chinese are accused of having the small “toy”. 

I think this justifies the growing market for products to warm up, let's say, the relationship. And they are right. I had a nasty boyfriend, who made up for his poor erection with beautiful oral sex very well. Life is like that, smart is someone who knows how to make compensations. The Chinese show that they are like that too. If the toy is small, they fill the bed with so many other toys that just make their partner crazy. 

Among oils and stimulants, lingerie, whips, masks and a vast collection of vibrators, what woman will remember the size of the boy's bigulinho? Stop everything, right? Not to mention the erotic films. Definitely, size is not a document. One of the attractions of this fair was a collection of 300 historical objects, including 18th century Chinese erotic designs and, amazingly, vibrators from more than 200 years old. I wonder what a vibrator would have been like two centuries ago. 

Oh, and look at the revelation, the Chinese enjoy a male lingerie. I remember when I was in Amsterdam and, in that delightful den of sex that is that city, I saw, among rubber chicks that sprang with springs in the window of a store, an elephant underwear. With eyes filled with emotion, I entered the store and m p o l g a d i s s with the “novelty” (for me it was, right?). 

I thought everything was good, wonderful and I was already imagining my face making the elephant's trunk go up and down ... I had already bought some boxer shorts in the Tie Rack in London for the cute, but they didn’t reach that wild underwear. There was a banana, carrot, revolver, but I really liked the little elephant, with trunk and ears. For me, I bought a sexy red nightgown, short and with plumes on the collar and on the bow ties. Arriving in Brazil, crazy for a night like that to kill the nostalgia, we went to the motel. I put on my new sexy outfit and gave the gift to my boyfriend. He looked, looked ... "What is that?" He asked. 

"Why, a pair of underwear, to warm up our night." Holy innocence, Batman !!!! Where I had my head in thinking that it could spice up some kind of sex. Every time that trunk moved, it was a fit of laughter."

I was sick of laughing. He, poor thing, until he held himself a little. I should have thought I was a little strange when I got the gift, but I must have thought that "it was a woman's thing". Even today, when I remember that trunk agonizing to stay upright, in the midst of so much laughter, I can't help laughing. So, this is the problem with some of these toys. They can really become a toy and you can stay in bed as if you were with your brother. Playing, playing ... It's like those abominable dices of positions. Who never had one of that ??? 

I had it, it came in the bag on a trip I made to Argentina. I entered a sex shop, removing the vibrators, the store was full of lingerie with unbelievable bad taste. Escolated that I was after that damn little elephant, I just bought a little dummy. Guess what??? Damn, I had a position there that I didn't even see in the Kama Sutra. It will pick up. 

Once again, my sex went downhill - literally. I almost hung myself with my own leg. Daddy never again. The tip is, think carefully before buying an erotic prop. It can become a joke in bed and you can stay in hand. And, between us, I wonder if this Chinese excitement in the production of erotic material arrives in Brazil, safety precautions must be redoubled. 

Otherwise, it will be like the joke of the old lady who bought a vibrator and ended up in the emergency room for not being able to get that phallic object out of the said “user”. The old lady moaned, moaned like crazy. The nurses, after some effort and dismayed, took off the vibrator. The old woman screamed loudly, fought. They, imagining that they had hurt her, apologized. The old lady, very angry, ordered: "And don't delay to change the batteries, otherwise I'll cut you in half with the scalpel !!!". 

Yeah, the joke may be weak, but sex without fun does not happen. Even if there are no toys around, humor has to be one of the basic ingredients. Adding more doses full of lust, affection and good footprints, nothing is comparable.

Carol Mercedes
Pink Hot Publisher / United Photo Press Magazine